HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR BEST MAN

Good better best, never let it rest "

actually have an easy answer, if you have a brother, or a best friend since childhood or even a cousin or other relative whom you are extremely close to, then you have probably already made up your mind. The best man should be someone who knows you well, and a loved one who has been there for you for most of your life, so if it is your brother, he wins hands down. If you do not have a brother then a best friend, and if you have neither then you need to look at who else can step into the role, someone that you feel comfortable with.

An ideal best man should have a relationship with the other groomsman or at least some kind friendship with some of them. The best man will be able to more effectively lead the “crew”, if he already knows them and trust is already there. Your best man should be the type of person who takes action, a doer, not a procrastinator or a complainer. A person who gets the job done, quickly and efficiently. He should not be afraid to start a text or WhatsApp chain with all parties concerned, so that he can send them reminders regarding appointments about wedding suits, or bachelor party arrangements.

Many of these responsibilities are time-sensitive, so your best man should be someone who is a quick thinker and solutions driven, so that he sets a good example for the rest of the crew. He should also know you well enough to know your likes and dislikes. You may not like the idea of a wild bachelor party, but would prefer a low key camping trip with the guys, he must know you well enough to be able to put his own tastes aside and plan a bachelor party that you will enjoy. He must be selfless, and when it comes to the wedding day, he will gladly step out of the spotlight and let you be the one to shine.

He must be prepared to stand by you every step of the way, make a thoughtful toast at the reception, not an inappropriate one and he must keep it classy during the reception. Grooms, there is a great deal of responsibility that your best man carries on his shoulders, from planning your bachelor party to making sure that the guys have gone for fittings and ordered their tuxes, to keeping track of the wedding rings on the big day.

Grooms, remember, if you do not have a brother or close friend or the decision is proving too difficult for you, you can skip the tradition entirely, and just have your groomsmen, but they must work together as a team. Some couples choose to forgo having a wedding party, but your decision should reflect your relationship and this needs time and many discussions with your partner, to ensure that you are both on the same page.

The last thing you want is any mis-communication and in years to come resentment surfaces, so make sure that you are both comfortable with any decision that you make.

The choice of best man is the grooms decision, and the grooms decision alone! Do not feel pressurized by family or friends to choose someone that they think will be right for you. It is important to feel at ease on your big day, with someone who understands you and you can freely open up to, without the fear of ridicule. If you are afraid of hurting another’s feelings because you have not asked them to be your best man, involve them in other duties for example, one of your groomsmen, an usher or even reading something at the reception.

Remember, the best man at your wedding, becomes a bit of a celebrity on that day, the speech is all important, and a good and caring best man, that knows you well, will pull off a wonderful and memorable speech, not an embarrassing or inappropriate one. The best man is also known to get the party started and keeps it going for as long as necessary. He is also the person that you rely on to accomplish some of the wedding tasks that you do not have to take upon your shoulders. He will hold onto the rings, help you go for fittings or pick up your suit, even helping you decide what alcohol should be served to the guests.

As I said earlier, if you have a brother, your job of choosing a best man just got very easy, family is chosen over friends always. A brother, whether younger or older, has all the markings of the perfect best man, he knows you better than anybody else. He also probably knows your fiancé very well, and he would instinctively understand the kind of bachelor party would suit you. Having a best man that actually knows your relationship with your future spouse is a huge bonus, and will make the celebration just that much more enjoyable. That is the person who will be the most qualified to talk about your relationship during the big toast, the best mans speech.

Once again, there are no hard and fast rules, about choosing a best man, do what is right for you and what will take the pressure off you. There is no such thing as having too many friends and you may be torn between asking two of your closest friends.

Do not let this become a headache to you, choose them both and split up their duties so they are both involved. If you simply must choose only one, then determine which one will have the most time on their hands to help you plan and organize.

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